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Tellin' it like it is
06/15/07 - Underwear. That's right, I'm ranting about underwear. Boxers, panties, breifs, thongs all
useless means of life. What is underwear made for anyway? Comfort? Security?Self-respect? All these reasons are complete bullshit.
How can underwear provide comfort, they ride your ass and cause rashes in the heat. Last time I checked, that's not comfort.
And really, if you think about it, what's more comfortable, something that restricts, or your ass-checks flowing as free as
the wind blows. How can they cause security. All they do is get in the way when you wanna take a piss, and when your
about to get lucky. And who cares if it makes you feel "secure", you wear pants don't you? And who needs self-respect in this
society? Your certianly not going to find it by wearing these, these shackles of life. See, no need, so throw your underwear
aside, and go commando in public, and be happy!
04/25/07 - It's been a while since I last ranted, but I need to get somethings out. First on the attack
list; crappy remakes of already crappy songs. For those of you who can remember the "S-Club" remember they made a song called
"Kids in America." Fucking lame ass song that offends all the senses. A month later, we all thought, "hey we're safe now,
S-Club is no more and the rayne of horrible english teens singing about american kids is over." Well guess what? The agony
went on after a few short years later the fucking "American Juniors" (a cheap rendition of American Idle) decides to use this
song as one of their 4 songs in their short SHORT careers. They immediately lose fan interest of all the old senoir fans they
had, and the ocassional crazy cat lady. But it wasn't so much the song that offended me at the time, it was the KIDS SINGING
IT. The highest toned brats that could kill a swarm of bats just by saying the words "high C note." All of them deserve to
DIE! Then those fuckers on that "Mini-Pop Kids" use it, and half of them are lip singing. NOBODY CAN WITH THEIR LIPS COVERING
BRACES. If I found out they lived anywhere near me, I would go to their door, murder the child, and give the corpse to a friend
(we'll call him Mr. Gore) and let do an August Underground Mordum video about what he would after. Now there's some fucking
no name band singing the shittiest, most annoying version ever, "We're the Kids of the Future." No words can discribe what
I would do to these fuckers. Leave the crappy songs alone, if your gonna be a crappy artist, come up with something original.
Ofcourse I would come up with more songs too bash but this has gone on long enough, and we all know the other songs that deserve
to die off. Second on the list; the retarded noobish asshole, who must make me want to blind myself because he/she doesn't
know the difference between two awesome songs. While searching through youtube, looking for a good video for Revontulet, I
noticed something else that might peek my interest featuring "Replica." To my disgust, it was not replica as the background
music, but an equally awesome song by sonata arctica aswell, Fullmoon. I wanted to beat this fucker down and literally make
his kids feel it (if I don't make sure he never gets the chance to have kids). Go to hell mystery dudeguy! Lastly; thise
who tell ME I don't need alcohol. I KNOW I don't, nobody needs it, it's just a way to escape reality and I prefer it over
pot and crap. I'll have what I want and you don't get the right to tell me otherwise. Plus, how else do you think I come up
with the random things I do, it helps, it not bad for brain all at, I no fail skool, skool fail mi.
02/01/07 - I have come up with yet another genius theory...or maybe
the old guy was being sarcastic. But, I have conducted a theory about the apocalypse. The four riders infact were on earth
at a time or still are. The theoryis that when all the riders die, the apocalypse will come. The riders are: Pestilence -
Jake Shimabukuro, Famine - Ghandi, War - Gengus Khan, Pleague - Bruce Campbel. I also think that there might be a fifth more
awesome rider that has existed yet, but one day, you'll see.
09/13/06 - Anyone who knows what White Oaks is, knows that is the crappiest ghetto
in the world. The only reason we're cosidered a "ghetto" is because people started bitching that it had to be a ghetto. Well
now I'm bitching against it, you brought this apon yourselves you lame suburbian white boys who think your black. In White
Oaks, there are people that drink their coffee, drive their car, and talk on their cell phone, while other places in the world
do all the above and manage to return fire, and this is just Los Angelos. In New York they use gernades, you know to
attack any suicide bombers. Better not piss them off, although they have louzy aim. So anyway, stop calling White Oaks a ghetto,
the babies have gotten their way for to long. Well what about this baby's needs.
09/11/06 - Me again with yet another rant. Why is it that we(in Canada) have to
commerate the loses of 9/11. Sure there where Canadians envolved but it was NEW YORK people, any Canadian that would be there,
were the retarded and the people who wanted to die. Everyone else in that event were Americans and there aren't a lot of Americans
I want alive. All I would keep from America are the GOOD entertainers, the rockers and anyone smart enough to read a book
right side up, they're the one's with potential. Above all else, IT HAPPENED FIVE YEARS AGO, LET THE PAST DIE. And remember
this; Saddam ain't a bad guy, his lips say death to Isral, but his eyes say death to America.
07/25/06 - Why is it that M. Night. Shamalon (or however you spell his name)
makes these movies. Why is he a director, all of his movies sucked ass. But oh no, he makes up for it with his commercials.
It's like he uses all his directing abilities in the advertisments and then decides to hold the budget on the movie. Come
on people remember Signs and The Village two examples of movies I wanted to see more than any other at the time and then when
i did see them they sucked. All I want from him is to make something GOOD for once.
07/24/06 - People have seem to lost sight of the fact that I am awsome, but everyone
shall always remember I'm weird. To prove my awsomeness are the following facts; number 1, I belong to the Ninja Mofia and
I have my own religion for NINJA'S. Number 2, I have a dictionary of awsomeness. Finally I DEFY ALL REALITY! I could jump
off a building, brutally injure myself and i would still say I flew, just had troubles with my landing. Also I have tons of
crazy ideas that could help a lot of people. That proves everything i need so HAH!
07/24/06 - This is absolutely one hundred percent true. There is a comic book
series for Jewish people that is entitled Issac the Ninja Rabbi. This took off as a television series on Jewish networks for
kids and it was looked at as a super hero, unfortunately Marvel has nothing on this. So what are we to do, nothing but worship
the act that such an awsome thing exists. Maybe if more people knew and complained to Marvel, we might have a good comic series
of our own and maybe a better movie than fucking Superman, or the lame ass version of Spiderman.
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